Facebook Wants To Sell Us Dress Sweatpants
Over the past few days there have been an inordinate amount of ads on my Facebook feed for a product called “Dress Sweatpants”.
My friend Carlton noticed this too and tweeted about them this morning. Well, this lead to a prolonged & hilarious Twitter thread where we started creating slogans for these so-called Dress Sweatpants. Our friend Stacey then joined in to make the morning even better.
Here are the proposed slogans for Dress Sweatpants. They are all trademarked by their respective owners but we are all interested in selling them to Dress Sweatpants of course.
"Give up…and look great doing it." - Carlton
"Stop caring and do it with style!" - Me
"Say goodbye to hope and hello to comfort!" - Carlton
"You’re gonna like the way you fail." - Carlton
"Dress sweatpants because fuck everything!" - Me
"Because assholes with lots of disposable income like comfortable pants too." - Stacey
"When you hit your lowest point you should be comfortable!" - Me
"Hi. I’m Fred Durst. And I’d like to introduce you to the Dress Sweatpant." - Carlton (this was my personal favorite)
"Boardroom and bedroom are close enough. I don’t care anymore." - Me
"Be the most stylish guy in the basement!" - Carlton
"Because who wants to have sex anyways." - Stacey
"When life gives you lemons wear dress sweatpants. Because, hey, things can’t get much worse." - Me
"Dress sweatpants. For that Taco Bell that has a dress code." - Me
"People won’t care how much you paid for your dress sweatpants. Tell them anyway." - Stacey
"Dress Sweatpants: Hoboken suburb style at Pep Boys brake repair prices." - Carlton
"Who needs belts anyways?" - Stacey
"Dress sweatpants…absorbs your tears & enhances your failure." - Me
I think Stacey said it best at the end: “Anyone who doesn’t get why Twitter is fun needs to reference this conversation.”